And That's a Wrap.

Well, tomorrow I graduate from the Focus Leadership Institute after two months of daily challenging yet growing experiences. We wrapped up our class sessions last week with John Stonestreet teaching us about what it means to hold a Christian worldview in this day and age. He is a broadcaster of Breakpoint Ministries, which is part of the Chuck Colson's ministry. He placed many challenging ideas in front of us, including how we should read the Bible versus how we're reading it right now. Some of his ideas I didn't quite agree with, but he was enlightened nonetheless.

Yesterday and today we had Symposium, which is when each student takes about ten minutes to get up in front of the class to talk about what they have taken the most insight from throughout the course of this semester. I was second to present on Monday, and took some time to talk to my fellow classmates about how I have drawn the most from the lesson of value. Through tears, I told part of my story to the class and proceeded to talk about where I used to gain value from; earthly things that were outside of me. Struggling through an eating disorder is part of my story that directly ties into my struggle with value. We learned in the first week of being here from Dr. Juli Slattery that our value has been predetermined by God and is unchanging. I am worth the redemption that he has to offer all who choose to believe, and that is one amazing gift to accept. As God's child, I am born, adopted, and living to be transformed. We learned from Pastor Jade Duncan in our sixth week here that the kingdom of God is transformational by nature. Everywhere the kingdom goes, it transforms. The cool thing is that I am becoming who I am in Christ through the transformational journey that I am on. It's not an easy journey by any means which Del Tackett helped us to understand yesterday. There are so many risks involved. But the reward from our sweet God makes it so worth it. So for those of you struggling to take steps on your transformation journey, take heart. For he is walking each step with you and wants you to keep going, more than you know. Keep fighting.

Graduation tomorrow is going to be bittersweet. The friendships I have been so blessed to make here are ones that I have no fear will last for eternity. I'm sad to leave this community, but excited to use this as a springboard into the rest of my life, living for HIM. Thank you all for your love, support, encouragement, letters, thoughts, and prayers throughout the past couple months. God truly is great :) See y'all in Michigan!!!

It's the Final Countdown

Yeah, I know you just sang the title of this post to that one song. Now it will be stuck in your head for a while. You're welcome :)

This past week wasn't really anything exciting. We talked a lot about politics and our place as Christians in the political world and how our faith should play out. Personally, I'm not intrigued by politics so it was a long week for me. We had a different speaker every day which was a plus side to this past week. My favorite day was by far on Tuesday when Pastor Jayde Duncan came in to talk to us about what the biblical role of government is. He started out the class by asking each of us to talk about something we have learned so far this semester. Many people including myself were moved to pour out their hearts, and Pastor Duncan felt the Lord calling him to speak truth into our lives. I learned so much from this class time and was so overwhelmed by the many things he told us. We ended up only spending a half hour on the biblical role of government, (which was fine by me!)

Friday night we ventured up to Denver to watch the Rockies take on the Cubbys. It turned out to be a beautiful night for it and a lot of fun with the group! Saturday was a day that we spent just relaxing by the pool and such. Ivette threw a fiesta that night for us complete with great Mexican food and a pinata. Audrey and I went for ice cream and experienced the magic once again of the coral shorts. Don't ask... Today I went to New Life's downtown campus with a group of friends. I absolutely loved it! If I were to move to the Springs for some reason or another, I would choose that as my home church out of all the places of I have gone this summer. The pastor gave an incredible message on the Lord's Prayer. Also included in the service was awesome worship, communion, and closing with the doxology song, which made me feel like I was at home. It had a good amount of traditional practices as well as contemporary. Jessie and I spent the afternoon by the pool until we overheated, now cracking down on the homework. Better late than never, right?

This week in class John Stonestreet will be speaking to us. He works for the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview and gives many seminars all over the country at different conferences, colleges, churches, and schools. He will be talking to us on the subject of Worldview & Life, so my prayer is that it will sum up the summer and bring closure to the program for me before I leave to head back to Michigan in a couple weeks. We're nearly in the single digit countdown folks. Although I'm looking forward to heading home to be with my family and friends, and to just give my brain a much needed break, I'm so going to miss the friends that I have made here. My closest friends here are incredible women of God who inspire me every day to want to live for Him. Being away from them will be tough, but I truly believe I have a great head start on living the rest of my life following my Savior.

visitors visitors visitors

I had visitors this past weekend!!!!!!! My lovely older sister Jamie and crazy cousin Jenna came out to visit me for a few days :) They flew out here last Thursday and left about an hour ago to head back to Michigan. We had a packed weekend full of amazing adventures that quite possibly might be the highlight of my summer! 

Last Friday we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in the afternoon. I have this un-explainable obsession with going to the zoo, it just never ceases to fascinate me. My favorite exhibit had to be the giraffes. Those creatures... when you stand and watch them for a while they really get you thinking. Especially this one... he smiled too :) 

After the zoo, we ventured to the Broadmoor, which is a beautiful hotel here in the Springs. We really had no idea what we were going to do once we got there, but were pleasantly surprised by the beautiful flowers and landscape that we found. They have a pond and fountains out back of the hotel which are absolutely breathtaking with the mountains in the back ground. We browsed through the inexpensive (HA) shops for a bit then headed to downtown CSprings to grab dinner and walk around some more. The zoo has by far been my favorite thing that I have done here thus far! 

On Saturday, we woke up early to have a nice breakfast of quiche that I made for us before heading out through the mountains to the resort town of BRECKENRIDGE. It was quite an exciting drive; there were a few points where we were afraid the car wouldn't even make it. But nonetheless, we arrived there around noon on a beautiful day. We laced up our hiking shoes, and headed for the base of Peak 8. Much to my excitement, we came across SNOW! Which is what I had been talking about all morning, how I wanted to hike up to the snow on the peak. Yes, I am easily amused. We had some fun making snowballs and sliding on our butts down the hills, then walked down to the gondola that would take us back to town. It was such a fun hike! Even though we had to stop every few minutes to accustom the rookies to the altitude changes :) Love you both. We got back into town, shopped around a little, had lunch at the local brewery, then continued to shop of course. I had some great finds in this little town! After driving home through the rain in the mountains and seeing a rainbow, I can say that it was a successful day to say the least. Breckenridge has officially made its way to my list of all-time favorite cities, seriously. Loved it. 

Sunday was a chill day, which we needed after a busy Friday and Saturday. I took the girls to Woodman Valley Chapel for church, then we relaxed by the pool for a few hours. What was supposed to be rainy, turned out to be a beautiful day! I made dinner for us, then we headed to the hotel to hang out and I spent the night there with them. Today, they came to Focus and I gave them a small tour of all the places I spend my time at. It's great now that they will be able to put an actual picture with the places I'm talking about :) I loved more than anything having them out here. It was tough saying goodbye, but I know that Jamie and the fam will be back out here in two short weeks, and I'll be home in three. 

I'm starting to get very drained from everything. From class, to homework, to reading, to internship... My body is slowing down. Prayers for strength and endurance to finish out these last two weeks of class would be appreciated :) As much as I want to be home, I'm trying my hardest to stay in the moment and enjoy my time here yet. Praying for my eyes to be opened in the final two weeks, just to see atleast an inkling of the reasoning behind why I'm here... 

Weekend Back in the Mitten!

I was able to go home this past weekend for a few days! It was honestly perfect timing. A) Because the fourth is my favorite holiday ever :) and B) Because the first few weeks tired me out and I needed a break from everything here. Don't get me wrong, I love it here! But I was just in dire need of seeing my family and friends back home.

I left the Springs at 6:00 in the morning on the fourth to take a flight to DC, then connected to a flight to Grand Rapids. I landed around 2:00, then headed up north to join my family. It was so wonderful to receive hugs from my parents once I got there! I haven't seen them for a month, and being 17 hours away from them hasn't been the easiest. We went to the fireworks in Ludington for a little bit, but then the fact that I had gotten up at 3:45 that morning caught up with me, so we left and I passed out in bed.

Friday afternoon after spending the morning with my parents and Jamie, I headed up to Harbor Springs to find my long lost boyfriend :) It was quite a drive to get up there, but definitely worth it. I had never been to Harbor Springs before, but really loved it there! We went out for dinner together, then took a boat out in the harbor for a little bit. I went to an antique flea market for a bit the next morning, then wandered downtown through the shops before grabbing lunch with Matthew and saying goodbye for yet another month. Knowing that I'm on the downhill now is the only thing keeping me going. And the fact that I'm here for a reason, which I still don't know what it is.

That night we went out for dinner with the whole family back in Holland, then I saw a couple friends, and headed to bed. My flight out Sunday morning was at 6:00 again, so we had to leave early. It is comforting knowing that the next time I get to see my family, they will be in my hood :) Three more weeks! I slept most of my flights back here. On one of them, I had my book The Search for Significance sitting in my lap. When I woke up, the man next to me asked how it was. I was honest and said that I hadn't started yet... He then proceeded to ask me what I thought faith was. I stumbled for a couple seconds, then God gave me the right words to say. We chatted for a bit, I offered him my book, then parted ways.

Class this week is being taught by Robert and Elena Thomason. The focus is on leadership, and how we can use our strengths to be effective and good leaders. In the book The Search for Significance that we are reading, we are learning how to define our worth based on God's view of us, rather than on the materialistic reality that we live in. It's going to be a challenging week, but very applicable for my life so I'm looking forward to it. Also looking forward to Jamie and Jenna visiting for the weekend!!!!!! Breckinridge, here we come :) It's going to be a good week.

Interim Week -- PTL

These past few days have been considered an interim week between the first and second half of the semester. It has been a total answer to prayer in the renewing and re-energizing aspect after the much draining first three weeks of intense material. We have taken time this week to get to know ourselves better and to just relax and enjoy time with each other. Here's a quick snapshot into the past few days :)

Monday we went to Fox Run Park where we started off the semester with a retreat. We haven't been able to return because it is in the Black Forest area where the first wildfires started, but we got to spend Monday morning and afternoon there. We started the morning out with praise and worship in the pavilion, then broke into our life groups to talk about the semester so far. After lunch we could just hang out, play games, talk, hike, or just do whatever we felt would be helpful to relax us. I had a wonderful talk with Lindy and was so blessed by the things she had to say. The staff and faculty at FLI truly are an answer to prayers.

Tuesday we started out the morning at the Lee's house talking about some assessment results we had received. I took the Meyers-Briggs to learn about my personality type, and I am an INFJ (for those of you who know what this means...) For those of you who do not, here's a quick summary. I means that I am introverted, completely. I gain energy by having time to myself, rather than being in big groups, which tend to tire me out. N means that I am intuitive, meaning that I focus on the future while looking for patterns and predictions. F means I'm a feeler over a thinker, which I wasn't surprised by at all. I so often allow my heart to rule over my head in any situation. J means that I am judging (NOT like judging judging, it's something completely different, just to clarify). This means that I like planned and organized approaches to life. Anyone who knows me, knows how planned I like to have things. Heck, I have three planners that I use when I'm at school. So that's just a quick review of my personality. Now you know me!

We also talked about the Strengths Finder that we were assigned to take. I have taken this on three separate occasions. The first two were basically completely different because I went through a pretty dramatic life event. However this third time that I took it was more consistent with the first time, so I am happy to say that I am "returning back to normal" :) My number one strength was empathy, which happened to be consistent over all three times I took it. Second, developer. Third, restorative. Fourth, individualization. And fifth, relator. If you want to know more about what these actually mean, pick up the Strengths Finder 2.0 and it gives a great overview of each of the 34 possible strengths. I can't say I was surprised by any of these, and know that they will definitely play positively into my passion of becoming a counselor some day. In the afternoon, we took a hike up Mt. Herman. It was such a clear day and absolutely beautiful; we could even see all the way across Kansas to Kansas City believe it or not! That state is so flat... I can't wait to drive I-70 through there to get home...

Today was a challenging day. We volunteered with Samaritan's Purse to help with Black Forest Wildfire relief. I've gone on plenty of missions trips to help people out, but nothing has compared to this. Driving up to the houses and seeing absolutely nothing there except piles of ashes and soot to be sifted through was absolutely heartbreaking. We took all morning at one house and all afternoon at another house to sift through and look for valuables. I got extremely discouraged after going a while without finding anything, but that's all part of it. The families were so extremely grateful and were moved beyond words at the work we did without even knowing them. We presented them with a Bible at the end of the day before praying for them and heading out. It was an experience that I can't even put words too... But so powerful.

Heading home tomorrow morning for a few days!!!!!!!!!!

Slacker City, Population: ME

Yeah, I know. I've really been slacking on this blogging thing. I'm not making excuses, but the weather has been phenomenal this past week, therefore the pool has been calling my name. It tends to scream my name actually, so I can't really escape without making a scene. I'm not one to make a scene, so yes, I cave and go to the pool. It's a good thing I don't have much down time, right? That means I'm staying busy! Which is ultimately a good thing. Especially being so far from home.

On to the week... Dr. Steve and Twyla and Lee co-taught us this week on the subject matter of communication and conflict resolution. So if you are in need of a lesson on either of these two, holler because I have pages of notes and a week of knowledge on it! This week we read two books, one on encouragement, and one called The DNA Of Relationships. Both of which were very insightful for the class discussions.

We were created to be in relationship with others. "Communication is to relationships what blood is to the body". There are different levels of communication that increase risk and vulnerability as you move farther into them. We did a lot this past week with the listening aspect of communication, because listening is for the sake of connecting and responding. There are many responses to listening that we learned both positive and negative, and the best tool to help people know they are being listened to is paraphrasing.

There are many biblical principles of communication that we addressed as well including things such as thinking before you speak, speaking the truth in love, not criticizing, ignoring insults, speaking gently, and listening.

When it comes to conflict, it's not always about resolving them, it's about managing them. Conflict is rooted in wanting something, but not getting it. The biblical model for conflict that we talked about starts with being honest, keeping it under control, making sure that the timing is right, keeping it positive, and exercising kindness and forgiveness. The very last day of class this week, we touched briefly on forgiveness. Which I absolutely loved. I tend to be quick to forgive and move on, whereas I know this really is a struggle for others. "...Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but enlarges the future..." Luckily in the chart of forgiveness that we talked about, God's grace and healing covers the whole thing.

Overall this past week of class was great just to learn these things to make myself a better woman in Christ and possible wife and mother some day in these specific areas. I'm excited for the times in the future when I will be able to put to practice what I have learned. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement!

Adventures. No but for real!

I don't think my body can handle any more adrenaline pumping through it for a while. Between caving with my counseling internship group yesterday and jumping out of a perfectly good airplane today, I think I'm losing it out here... No but for real.

We weren't caving Mammoth Cave style ya'll. It was legit army crawl through the dirt and in square foot openings known as "the tube". At one point we all had to turn our lights off and sit there in the quiet. Now, I'm not one who is generally afraid of the dark. But when you put in me in a tiny cave and turn off all lights on me, chances are I'll get pretty uncomfortable. We learned how it is experiential therapy because it teaches you to stay in the here and now. When you're in there, you're not thinking about anything else. You can't do anything about the past or the future because you have to stay present and paying attention to what you're doing. The way that they talked us through tight spots and worked with those individuals who were borderline panicking, was extremely patient and helpful. There were a couple different approaches people took while in the cave. Some were more reserved and didn't really go off while others jumped at the chance to explore when given the option. For me, it was important to keep a light-hearted approach to the situation so that I didn't sit there and think about where I was and what I was doing. We encouraged each other through the afternoon, and came out a total mess. But it was worth it :)

Best part of yesterday? When someone was crawling through a really tight space and she emerging into a cavern. As her head is coming out, Tim goes "It's a girl!!!" We got a good laugh out of that one.

On to today's adventures... We arrived at Mile Hi Skydiving around 2:00, after doing a quick shopping trip downtown Boulder. We waited for a solid 2 hours before being brought out to the hangar. (longest two hours of my life, contemplating why I was about to jump out of a perfectly good airplane...) We met our instructors and suited up. Chris was a pretty cool guy that was my tandem buddy for this adventure. We boarded the plane and started heading up! After what seemed like a long time Chris goes "so we're about halfway up". I thought we were high enough already! Apparently the instructors didn't think so... At about 2 1/2 miles up, they flung open the side door and Chris said "Alright, you're first!" Oh $#*!. AmIright?? We waddled over to the door, gave Shayne my videographer a smile and thumbs up, then BOMBS AWAY! One whole minute of free fall! Seriously the most intense minute of my life. If you're like me, you're thinking "oh gosh my stomach would drop like on a roller coaster and I'd puke". Somehow, (I still don't understand it), my stomach didn't drop AT ALL. Weirdest. Sensation. Ever. After free falling a while, Chris pulled the parachute and we were able to enjoy the view on the way down. It was gorgeous! And a beautiful day to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Bottom line. If you've been thinking about skydiving, DO IT.
If you haven't been thinking about skydiving, DO IT ANYWAY.

Better late than never, right?

Sorry for the delay in posting this week, it has been totally crazy. And I thought homework at Trinity was a heavy load... it's tiring with quite a bit of reading every night as well as a journal on reading and lecture. But I'm staying above water! Kind of... depends on your definition of staying up on work.

This week we have had Dr. Glenn Stanton as our speaker. He is the director for Family Formation Studies right at Focus and has published quite a few books. Two of them, "The Ring Makes All The Difference" and "Secure Daughters, Confident Sons", are the two books we have been working through this week. Dr. Stanton has made appearances on Dr. Phil as well as many news shows. This week he talked to us about the Theology of Marriage & Family, as well as the negative effects of cohabitation.

It was especially cool to learn about the wedding that will take place at the end of time between us and Christ. He heart yearns for us like a groom yearns for his bride. I don't know about you, but that's a great feeling to have. We were given many shocking statistics on marriage in America as well as the family formation. It's tough to hear those numbers, but at the same time gives us hope because "generations are shaped by that which they were denied or lived without". So what does the future look like for us? The future looks like what we're creating it to be based on what our values are driving towards. Tomorrow is our last day with Dr. Stanton, and it has been a great week learning about his specialty.

In regards to my counseling practicum this week, it was pretty busy. On Tuesday we went to Pikes Peak Therapeutic Riding Center, which is a stable where Equine Therapy takes place. Clients come here to work with the horses to help them through their problems. Something interesting I learned is that horses were created to reflect the feelings of humans. This is one of the main reasons that horses are used for therapy. One of the most surprising groups that this facility works with are PTSD victims. Many of them come here and are able to work through their issues with the horses. God certainly has an interesting way of going about things in life :) Today I worked with my counselor listening in on phone calls. Some got intense today, but that's all part of the job. I can't expect it always to be a walk in the park. Tomorrow afternoon we are going out on a caving adventure as part of an experiential therapy process. We'll see how that goes!

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday, I need the weekend. And have exciting plans... so check back later. Thanks for the prayers and support and many cards I have received in the mail. You guys are great and I miss you all!

Blog = Avoidance Tool

Yes, I'm using this blog as a way to avoid typing a paper right now. Why do I do this? I don't really know. I don't really know why I do a lot of things that I do. I don't know why I drink double espresso shots, I don't know why I like to stand on chairs, I don't know why fall is my favorite season, I don't know why I have a desire to skydive... The list goes on. The biggest unknown is why I chose to come here. Today is one of those days where I've been asking myself over and over again what I'm doing here.

I miss home. It was bound to happen sooner or later, unfortunately. I was so overwhelmed with the intense work during this past first week that I didn't have time to sit down and think about anything else besides class. But now that Sunday has come around and it's Father's Day, I am reminded of how strongly I want to be home right now. I am exhausted emotionally and mentally and have been brought to tears many times over the past few days, which makes me ask "Why God, why on earth do you have me here going through all these challenges out of my comfort zone. Why have I been thrown head first into something so deep, and why do I feel like I'm not even above water right now". I'm dumb for asking these questions, because I know the answer. The answer is that I'm not ready to know yet. (How's that for Philosophy 101).

For those of you who know me, I'm a huge planner. I like to know what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, and the reason behind it. Right now I can't answer any of those questions. I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know when I'm going to know. And I obviously don't the reasons behind all this struggle. I'm frustrated and praying that I can get above the water. I'm here for a reason, and have to stick it out. I know my family and friends will be there when I get home, and for now that has to be enough to get me through this homesickness.

Philippians 3 is about being confident in the flesh. I have to be confident that this is where I need to be right now. I'm learning to know Christ, and when compared with the gain's I receive from the world, put simply there is no comparison. "For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared". Proverbs 3:26. Well, there ya have it. Everything comes full circle with this verse.

This post was more of a word vomit for me. If you've made it to the end, pat yourself on the back. And thanks for reading, you guys rock.  

By the way, I survived white water rafting yesterday in the Arkansas River :) I have many stories from that, including a friend going overboard in the rapids. Quite an experience to say the least.

Hide & Seek

For starters, I'd just like to ask all of you to pause for a couple minutes and say a prayer for us out here with all the wildfires going on. We have been reassured that so far we at the institute housing are safe. We can see the smoke out to the north east of us and it's very hazy all around us. Every morning I wake up and walk out onto the balcony and it definitely smells like a barbecue. The mountains aren't as clear as they were the first week, so please please pray with us for rain! And control over these fires. Many Focus employees have been asked to evacuate, and we have gone over an evacuation plan as well just to be safe. Thanks for the texts and calls to make sure I'm ok, I appreciate it!

These past few days have brought on a mix of emotions. The subjects we have talked about have overwhelmed some, and brought us to exhaustion by the end of the day. Every night this week I have collapsed in my bed and slept all through the night because I'm so mentally drained. Today was one of the most overwhelming days for me so far. We talked about intimacy with God, and how we can come about that. I felt very challenged to hide IN God, and not FROM God. There are many reasons why we might hide from God, however Psalm 32 is a great place to look to find assistance with hiding in God. Verse eight says that "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you". This is what will happen when we surrender to hiding in God, he will begin to speak to us.

Dr. Slattery talked to us today as well about value, and where we find value from the Bible versus where the world tells us to find value.This is something I have struggled with particularly in the past few years. In the world, we are taught that how I am performing and how people perceive me answers the question of "who am I?" Which in turn gives us value. However the scriptural truth tells me that my value has already been determined and is unchanging. This truth helps us to realize our value and then we perform and create relationships based on the already established value.

I am so thankful, especially today, for the Institute family. They were there to help us process after today, and sit and listen to some of us cry because of the overwhelmed feelings. I was guided by Victoria to keep fighting through the unknowns of life, and to pray pray pray and be open to God's guidance for my life because he has a reason for everything.

God, teach me to love you, and teach me to hide in you.

First Day of Class Nerves are Back

So today was our first day of class. Getting up this morning, I had no idea what to expect. (I was so nervous about our first day that I forgot to put on deodorant this morning... whoops). This week in class we are talking about intimacy within marriages while working through the book Sacred Marriage. I like to put it into the context of my relationships in general, since I'm obviously not married. However I still wanted the information I'm learning to be applicable to my life now in some way. Intimacy is being vulnerable and comfortable with your significant other, and being okay with the good, bad, and the ugly. We learned basic needs of men and women, and the power battle that comes along with those needs. A man's needs are a woman's power, and vice-versa. When that God-given power isn't being expressed by your significant other, it leaves the door open for someone else to practice that power. We learned so much more than this little bit I shared. This doesn't do justice to the five pages of notes I took.

Our professor for this week is Dr. Juli Slattery. She co-hosted Focus on the Family's international radio and TV outreach for many years, and then left there to help become a founder of Authentic Intimacy, which is a ministry designed to help women grow closer to God while improving their relationships with their husbands. She is also the author of a few books and is a highly sought-after speaker to groups in the US and abroad. To put it in short, she knows her stuff. I really enjoyed listening to her today, and am looking forward to the rest of this week with her.

We met at our internship sites this afternoon to get acquainted with the staff and where we will be working at for the summer. The Counseling Department is right at Focus, and has incredible staff at hand to take the incoming phone calls from all over the country, and even the world. I'm so excited to get to work with some of these counselors and listen to what they do first hand. I'm praying that through this experience, I will better be able to narrow down what population I would like to reach out to some day in the therapy world.

Shared plenty of laughs this evening with some of the girls :) They're great. I spent some time on the phone this evening as well with family and friends back home! It was great to hear their voices as well as being able to share my experience thus far. Thanks for the prayers and support! Love you all!

A Day at Fox Run

This morning the wonderful time change had me up and ready to go at 6:30. It wasn't all bad... I had time to sit out on the balcony with a cup of tea, spending time with God through writing in my journal. It was a beautiful morning; clear blue skies, a great view of the mountains, and the birds chirping. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect start to my day!

We spent the majority of the day on a retreat at Fox Run Park. This morning we started out with your typical mixer games, just trying to get to know each other better. Honestly, normally I'm not a fan of mixer games. But since I already have a day head start on getting to know these people, it wasn't awkward at all. I feel like I've known some of the other students for months! Which is a huge blessing. I was so nervous at first to go into this knowing no one, but God has really provided in this situation.

In the afternoon, we did team building activities in our Life Groups. It was fun to see how everyone worked with each other through the different obstacles and challenges we had to work through. We walked off with our Life Groups to sit a talk for a while. In my group, we shared our story's over by the lake. It was a powerful time to establish trusting relationships with the people in my group. I shared my life journey, in addition to the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing here. I also strive to leave here not on a spiritual high, but on something more spiritually permanent. I look forward to further conversations with my life group over the next seven weeks!

The day ended with some worship in a pavilion, then a time for Q & A with some of the faculty and staff. Today was a great way to start out our summer adventure together! I'm so excited for what else God has in store for everyone here.

I could get used to this :)

First of all a big congratulations to my big sister Beaver for finally graduating college today! So proud of her :) Now onto your next endeavor, planning that wedding of yours to that crazy farmer in September.

Yesterday was a crazy busy day! Momma Jan and I started the day at the U.S. Air Force Academy. My favorite part hands down was seeing the inside of the chapel on campus there. The stained glass windows with the mountain view through them was absolutely breathtaking. If you ever have the chance to travel to Colorado Springs, I highly recommend seeing this!

I moved into my apartment yesterday afternoon, which all went smoothly. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I am up on the third floor. Unfortunate to climb all those stairs in this altitude until I get used to it, but fortunate because of the phenomenal view. This is the sun setting behind the mountains tonight :)

My roommates are honestly super cool! Audrey is from Texas Sheridan is from Pennsylvania. I have also met some other pretty sweet people so far and it's only the second day! I feel so blessed. Last night we just had a pizza dinner then a chill night for grocery shopping and settling in. This morning I got up at six to drop Momma Jan off at the airport :( It was such a blessing to have her out here helping me settle in. Now she will know what I'm referring to when I talk about my day and such. Momma Jan definitely gets the top mom award for putting up with me in a car for that long! And through all of our touring expeditions. You rock mom!

All of today was orientation and picture taking. My apartment is five minutes from the Focus campus, so it doesn't take long at all to get there. We learned about the academic aspect of the institute, apartment living, received our books, took a group picture, outdoor safety (if you're hiking and your hair starts standing up, GET DOWN! Also beware of the 7 ft. mountain lions. They exist! Thanks Jeremy), and so much more. My brain is on overload. They put on a very nice luncheon for us at Focus followed by Dr. Kneeland Brown speaking about what it means to be a leader. Their goal at the institute is to make me a different person when I leave than when I came... Scary thought huh. But I'm in the best environment possible to do this because Jesus is the ultimate leader for us to mimic.

Some of the girls and I took a trip to the GW Boutique (Goodwill). I can't take credit for that nickname, *cough* Jasmyn *cough*. We took a trip to Bdubs for dinner with the group which was fun for getting to know everyone in a chill atmosphere. I still have no idea what I'm doing here to be honest, but I just have to keep trusting that God has a plan for me being here. Hopefully he reveals it to me soon, because it's making me anxious. Big retreat all day tomorrow at Fox Run! Prayers would be appreciated for a day with an open mind to what the Lord has in store. Love and miss you all!

C-Springs!!!

We have arrived safely! Thanks for the prayers for safety and sanity as we took the 17 hour drive from home. My car (and my mom) are champs. The back-roads to avoid Denver were actually pretty cool! Lots of random little farms, massive windmills, and monotonous hills. "Makes me want to take the back-roads"... isn't that a line of a country song?

Driving into Colorado Springs, we couldn't see the mountain tops due to the cloudy weather. Here's to hoping tomorrow is clear! But then again I will be residing here for two months. At least one of those days is bound to expose the tops of the mountains. We checked in to our hotel for the night then decided to venture around for the afternoon and evening. First we found my apartment building and creeped around the outside. I guess you could say I'm now excited to move in tomorrow :)

The US Olympic Training Center was very cool! We took your typical tourist tour. I now have a new appreciation for hard core athletes. However, I'll still stick to my leisure runs once in a while, thank you. Garden of the gods was alright, we weren't prepared to hike unfortunately, which I'm sure would have made it more worth it. Downtown Manitou Springs was cute! It was historical and very touristy. We had a little Mexican Fiesta at The Loop there; by far the best Mexican food I have EVER had. Old Colorado City reminded me a lot of downtown Holland. Except most of the shops were closed by the time we got around there. I guess I'll just have to go back again during the day! Darn.

Seven Falls... definitely worth anyone's time! We decided to take a walk up 224 stairs to get to the top of the falls in hopes of hiking around a little. After struggling to get to the top (altitude isn't a joke), we were informed that the trails were closed for the evening. Sweet, time to head back down. We took the elevator up to the Eagle's Nest, which had a great view of the falls. They light up each of the seven falls with different colors at night. It was very cool to see! Back at the hotel, and ready for a day of moving in tomorrow :)

So long, Michigan.

Momma Jan and I have made a pit stop for the night about two-thirds of the way through Nebraska. The fields on fields on fields today were too much to handle. Just so much to look at so we decided we deserved a break. If you've driven I-80 before, you know this is a complete joke. There is absolutely nothing to look at, unless you have a fascination with corn, which unfortunately I do not.

We left just after seven this morning and went through to Iowa until we hit E and were in need of more petro. Low and behold, this happened at the same time that we came across the I-80 truck stop which happens to be the largest truck stop in the world. #bucketlist. We stopped and fueled up and looked around inside. Those places definitely attract a unique population... we were in and out in less than ten minutes and back on the road.

"From the hills of Montezuma... to the shores of Tripoli..." or something like that. I finally understand this song. Well part of it at least. We drove through Montezuma, Iowa, and it definitely was nothing short of hilly. All of Iowa was up and down, leaving my ears popping like crazy. I guess I better get used to that though as we plan to head into the mountains tomorrow.

Nebraska: admitted into the Union in 1867. The most excitement we had this afternoon was seeing trains in the field and once in a while cows. We started out strong on the trip, but after ten hours,cabin fever set in. The white cheddar popcorn we had for lunch wasn't quite holding us over and we were getting sick of each other. (That second part isn't true, Momma Jan was a hoot today as always). We finally stopped in North Platte for dinner around 8:00. Fairly drained, we're ready for bed and a short day of driving tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers and encouragement as I have begun this potentially life changing experience!

Packing is Overrated

I really should be packing right now, but am trying to put it off. As I have begun saying many goodbyes, I am constantly reminded of everyone who loves me and is encouraging me to chase this route in my journey. Last week in church, Pastor John reminded us to "Let go, and Let God". Easier said than done, right? I trust God has a perfect plan for my life, and driving to spend two months in Colorado with no one that I know is part of it. Through the many notes and words of reassurance I have received, I know that I will be covered in prayer. It's time for me to let go... and let God.

Now about that packing... I tend to over-pack. Like a lot. My Jetta has limited space so this could be difficult. Time to vacuum pack all my clothes so I can take everything! The thing is, I know I won't wear everything I take, but I don't like leaving clothes behind because then my sister raids my closet. I love her dearly, but I am very possessive of my clothes. My brother just made a deal with me that if I come lift with him, he would help me pack. No deal Howie. Ok for real, I need to pack! Ready, set, GO.

Still here...

Things I'm going to miss:
1) The going away bouquet of flowers Matthew gave me -- mom said I can't take them :(
2) Meals with my family -- and my family for that matter.
3) Family includes Cooper. Can he come with me, mom?
4) Matthew... duh! He's great.
5) Sunday morning church and fellowship afterwards with other believers.
6) My friends for sure, they have blessed me so much and will continue to be a blessing while I'm gone.
7) The beach, and sunsets over it. We'll have to see how the mountains compare...
8) Everything I won't be able to fit into my car to take along.

Well that that last one pretty much covered everything, so I guess that's a sign I should go pack. Or go for a walk, or write letters, or wash the dishes...

Gradumatation

First of all a big congrats to my little brother Pig (Jonathan) for graduating high school last night! I couldn't be more proud. It seems like just yesterday that we were putting the little preschooler in our dresses and painting his nails... now he could just sit on us and we'd be goners for sure. From that picky little eater, to a grown boy who will eat anything that's set in front of him, you have come a long ways. He is heading to Davenport for business this coming fall, and I am so excited for the things he will be accomplishing and the people he will be impacting! You have a personality that has grown over the past few years to be someone that people love to be around. You can make me laugh at any time and have the funniest little quirks. 

Jeremiah 29:11, remember who holds your future, Jonathan. You don't have to worry about it, just trust in his perfect plan for your life. He's had it planned since before you were born. And I know that he has incredible things coming up for you. We better still have our date nights at Bdubs when both of us come home on weekends! Love you mucho piggy. 

Test 1... 2... 3...

I've never blogged before, so bear with me if this gets a little rough. I tend to be a rambler sometimes which could be a good thing or bad when it comes to blogging. I'm not really sure, but we'll find out. I am preparing to leave on the early morning of June 4, just two short weeks away. In the meantime, I'm busy grabbing coffee with friends and family to see them before I leave, so if you want to hang out before I go, just holler! I'd love to see as many people as I can:) If you are interested in learning more about the Focus Leadership Institute and what I will be doing exactly this summer, here is a link to their site...

https://www.focusleadership.org/

Basically I will be attending classes for the first few weeks to prepare me for my internship in the Counseling Practicum with Focus on the Family. I've never taken a summer class, so this will be interesting for sure. Growing up in West Michigan, there was no exposure to mountains. However a couple summers ago I drove out west to California with friends and was completely love struck with the mountains out there. This may cause some distractions from my work that I'm supposed to be doing for classes considering the views that I will have from my apartment in CO Springs... oh well, right?

Please continue to pray for me as I am preparing to leave my loved ones here for two months. I've become more of a homebody, so this is quite a stretch. But I know that God has amazing things planned for me out there, and I don't want to be held back from something that could be life changing. A peace of mind as I begin to pack and say goodbyes would be great starting right now God, please and thank you :)