And That's a Wrap.

Well, tomorrow I graduate from the Focus Leadership Institute after two months of daily challenging yet growing experiences. We wrapped up our class sessions last week with John Stonestreet teaching us about what it means to hold a Christian worldview in this day and age. He is a broadcaster of Breakpoint Ministries, which is part of the Chuck Colson's ministry. He placed many challenging ideas in front of us, including how we should read the Bible versus how we're reading it right now. Some of his ideas I didn't quite agree with, but he was enlightened nonetheless.

Yesterday and today we had Symposium, which is when each student takes about ten minutes to get up in front of the class to talk about what they have taken the most insight from throughout the course of this semester. I was second to present on Monday, and took some time to talk to my fellow classmates about how I have drawn the most from the lesson of value. Through tears, I told part of my story to the class and proceeded to talk about where I used to gain value from; earthly things that were outside of me. Struggling through an eating disorder is part of my story that directly ties into my struggle with value. We learned in the first week of being here from Dr. Juli Slattery that our value has been predetermined by God and is unchanging. I am worth the redemption that he has to offer all who choose to believe, and that is one amazing gift to accept. As God's child, I am born, adopted, and living to be transformed. We learned from Pastor Jade Duncan in our sixth week here that the kingdom of God is transformational by nature. Everywhere the kingdom goes, it transforms. The cool thing is that I am becoming who I am in Christ through the transformational journey that I am on. It's not an easy journey by any means which Del Tackett helped us to understand yesterday. There are so many risks involved. But the reward from our sweet God makes it so worth it. So for those of you struggling to take steps on your transformation journey, take heart. For he is walking each step with you and wants you to keep going, more than you know. Keep fighting.

Graduation tomorrow is going to be bittersweet. The friendships I have been so blessed to make here are ones that I have no fear will last for eternity. I'm sad to leave this community, but excited to use this as a springboard into the rest of my life, living for HIM. Thank you all for your love, support, encouragement, letters, thoughts, and prayers throughout the past couple months. God truly is great :) See y'all in Michigan!!!

It's the Final Countdown

Yeah, I know you just sang the title of this post to that one song. Now it will be stuck in your head for a while. You're welcome :)

This past week wasn't really anything exciting. We talked a lot about politics and our place as Christians in the political world and how our faith should play out. Personally, I'm not intrigued by politics so it was a long week for me. We had a different speaker every day which was a plus side to this past week. My favorite day was by far on Tuesday when Pastor Jayde Duncan came in to talk to us about what the biblical role of government is. He started out the class by asking each of us to talk about something we have learned so far this semester. Many people including myself were moved to pour out their hearts, and Pastor Duncan felt the Lord calling him to speak truth into our lives. I learned so much from this class time and was so overwhelmed by the many things he told us. We ended up only spending a half hour on the biblical role of government, (which was fine by me!)

Friday night we ventured up to Denver to watch the Rockies take on the Cubbys. It turned out to be a beautiful night for it and a lot of fun with the group! Saturday was a day that we spent just relaxing by the pool and such. Ivette threw a fiesta that night for us complete with great Mexican food and a pinata. Audrey and I went for ice cream and experienced the magic once again of the coral shorts. Don't ask... Today I went to New Life's downtown campus with a group of friends. I absolutely loved it! If I were to move to the Springs for some reason or another, I would choose that as my home church out of all the places of I have gone this summer. The pastor gave an incredible message on the Lord's Prayer. Also included in the service was awesome worship, communion, and closing with the doxology song, which made me feel like I was at home. It had a good amount of traditional practices as well as contemporary. Jessie and I spent the afternoon by the pool until we overheated, now cracking down on the homework. Better late than never, right?

This week in class John Stonestreet will be speaking to us. He works for the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview and gives many seminars all over the country at different conferences, colleges, churches, and schools. He will be talking to us on the subject of Worldview & Life, so my prayer is that it will sum up the summer and bring closure to the program for me before I leave to head back to Michigan in a couple weeks. We're nearly in the single digit countdown folks. Although I'm looking forward to heading home to be with my family and friends, and to just give my brain a much needed break, I'm so going to miss the friends that I have made here. My closest friends here are incredible women of God who inspire me every day to want to live for Him. Being away from them will be tough, but I truly believe I have a great head start on living the rest of my life following my Savior.

visitors visitors visitors

I had visitors this past weekend!!!!!!! My lovely older sister Jamie and crazy cousin Jenna came out to visit me for a few days :) They flew out here last Thursday and left about an hour ago to head back to Michigan. We had a packed weekend full of amazing adventures that quite possibly might be the highlight of my summer! 

Last Friday we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in the afternoon. I have this un-explainable obsession with going to the zoo, it just never ceases to fascinate me. My favorite exhibit had to be the giraffes. Those creatures... when you stand and watch them for a while they really get you thinking. Especially this one... he smiled too :) 

After the zoo, we ventured to the Broadmoor, which is a beautiful hotel here in the Springs. We really had no idea what we were going to do once we got there, but were pleasantly surprised by the beautiful flowers and landscape that we found. They have a pond and fountains out back of the hotel which are absolutely breathtaking with the mountains in the back ground. We browsed through the inexpensive (HA) shops for a bit then headed to downtown CSprings to grab dinner and walk around some more. The zoo has by far been my favorite thing that I have done here thus far! 

On Saturday, we woke up early to have a nice breakfast of quiche that I made for us before heading out through the mountains to the resort town of BRECKENRIDGE. It was quite an exciting drive; there were a few points where we were afraid the car wouldn't even make it. But nonetheless, we arrived there around noon on a beautiful day. We laced up our hiking shoes, and headed for the base of Peak 8. Much to my excitement, we came across SNOW! Which is what I had been talking about all morning, how I wanted to hike up to the snow on the peak. Yes, I am easily amused. We had some fun making snowballs and sliding on our butts down the hills, then walked down to the gondola that would take us back to town. It was such a fun hike! Even though we had to stop every few minutes to accustom the rookies to the altitude changes :) Love you both. We got back into town, shopped around a little, had lunch at the local brewery, then continued to shop of course. I had some great finds in this little town! After driving home through the rain in the mountains and seeing a rainbow, I can say that it was a successful day to say the least. Breckenridge has officially made its way to my list of all-time favorite cities, seriously. Loved it. 

Sunday was a chill day, which we needed after a busy Friday and Saturday. I took the girls to Woodman Valley Chapel for church, then we relaxed by the pool for a few hours. What was supposed to be rainy, turned out to be a beautiful day! I made dinner for us, then we headed to the hotel to hang out and I spent the night there with them. Today, they came to Focus and I gave them a small tour of all the places I spend my time at. It's great now that they will be able to put an actual picture with the places I'm talking about :) I loved more than anything having them out here. It was tough saying goodbye, but I know that Jamie and the fam will be back out here in two short weeks, and I'll be home in three. 

I'm starting to get very drained from everything. From class, to homework, to reading, to internship... My body is slowing down. Prayers for strength and endurance to finish out these last two weeks of class would be appreciated :) As much as I want to be home, I'm trying my hardest to stay in the moment and enjoy my time here yet. Praying for my eyes to be opened in the final two weeks, just to see atleast an inkling of the reasoning behind why I'm here... 

Weekend Back in the Mitten!

I was able to go home this past weekend for a few days! It was honestly perfect timing. A) Because the fourth is my favorite holiday ever :) and B) Because the first few weeks tired me out and I needed a break from everything here. Don't get me wrong, I love it here! But I was just in dire need of seeing my family and friends back home.

I left the Springs at 6:00 in the morning on the fourth to take a flight to DC, then connected to a flight to Grand Rapids. I landed around 2:00, then headed up north to join my family. It was so wonderful to receive hugs from my parents once I got there! I haven't seen them for a month, and being 17 hours away from them hasn't been the easiest. We went to the fireworks in Ludington for a little bit, but then the fact that I had gotten up at 3:45 that morning caught up with me, so we left and I passed out in bed.

Friday afternoon after spending the morning with my parents and Jamie, I headed up to Harbor Springs to find my long lost boyfriend :) It was quite a drive to get up there, but definitely worth it. I had never been to Harbor Springs before, but really loved it there! We went out for dinner together, then took a boat out in the harbor for a little bit. I went to an antique flea market for a bit the next morning, then wandered downtown through the shops before grabbing lunch with Matthew and saying goodbye for yet another month. Knowing that I'm on the downhill now is the only thing keeping me going. And the fact that I'm here for a reason, which I still don't know what it is.

That night we went out for dinner with the whole family back in Holland, then I saw a couple friends, and headed to bed. My flight out Sunday morning was at 6:00 again, so we had to leave early. It is comforting knowing that the next time I get to see my family, they will be in my hood :) Three more weeks! I slept most of my flights back here. On one of them, I had my book The Search for Significance sitting in my lap. When I woke up, the man next to me asked how it was. I was honest and said that I hadn't started yet... He then proceeded to ask me what I thought faith was. I stumbled for a couple seconds, then God gave me the right words to say. We chatted for a bit, I offered him my book, then parted ways.

Class this week is being taught by Robert and Elena Thomason. The focus is on leadership, and how we can use our strengths to be effective and good leaders. In the book The Search for Significance that we are reading, we are learning how to define our worth based on God's view of us, rather than on the materialistic reality that we live in. It's going to be a challenging week, but very applicable for my life so I'm looking forward to it. Also looking forward to Jamie and Jenna visiting for the weekend!!!!!! Breckinridge, here we come :) It's going to be a good week.

Interim Week -- PTL

These past few days have been considered an interim week between the first and second half of the semester. It has been a total answer to prayer in the renewing and re-energizing aspect after the much draining first three weeks of intense material. We have taken time this week to get to know ourselves better and to just relax and enjoy time with each other. Here's a quick snapshot into the past few days :)

Monday we went to Fox Run Park where we started off the semester with a retreat. We haven't been able to return because it is in the Black Forest area where the first wildfires started, but we got to spend Monday morning and afternoon there. We started the morning out with praise and worship in the pavilion, then broke into our life groups to talk about the semester so far. After lunch we could just hang out, play games, talk, hike, or just do whatever we felt would be helpful to relax us. I had a wonderful talk with Lindy and was so blessed by the things she had to say. The staff and faculty at FLI truly are an answer to prayers.

Tuesday we started out the morning at the Lee's house talking about some assessment results we had received. I took the Meyers-Briggs to learn about my personality type, and I am an INFJ (for those of you who know what this means...) For those of you who do not, here's a quick summary. I means that I am introverted, completely. I gain energy by having time to myself, rather than being in big groups, which tend to tire me out. N means that I am intuitive, meaning that I focus on the future while looking for patterns and predictions. F means I'm a feeler over a thinker, which I wasn't surprised by at all. I so often allow my heart to rule over my head in any situation. J means that I am judging (NOT like judging judging, it's something completely different, just to clarify). This means that I like planned and organized approaches to life. Anyone who knows me, knows how planned I like to have things. Heck, I have three planners that I use when I'm at school. So that's just a quick review of my personality. Now you know me!

We also talked about the Strengths Finder that we were assigned to take. I have taken this on three separate occasions. The first two were basically completely different because I went through a pretty dramatic life event. However this third time that I took it was more consistent with the first time, so I am happy to say that I am "returning back to normal" :) My number one strength was empathy, which happened to be consistent over all three times I took it. Second, developer. Third, restorative. Fourth, individualization. And fifth, relator. If you want to know more about what these actually mean, pick up the Strengths Finder 2.0 and it gives a great overview of each of the 34 possible strengths. I can't say I was surprised by any of these, and know that they will definitely play positively into my passion of becoming a counselor some day. In the afternoon, we took a hike up Mt. Herman. It was such a clear day and absolutely beautiful; we could even see all the way across Kansas to Kansas City believe it or not! That state is so flat... I can't wait to drive I-70 through there to get home...

Today was a challenging day. We volunteered with Samaritan's Purse to help with Black Forest Wildfire relief. I've gone on plenty of missions trips to help people out, but nothing has compared to this. Driving up to the houses and seeing absolutely nothing there except piles of ashes and soot to be sifted through was absolutely heartbreaking. We took all morning at one house and all afternoon at another house to sift through and look for valuables. I got extremely discouraged after going a while without finding anything, but that's all part of it. The families were so extremely grateful and were moved beyond words at the work we did without even knowing them. We presented them with a Bible at the end of the day before praying for them and heading out. It was an experience that I can't even put words too... But so powerful.

Heading home tomorrow morning for a few days!!!!!!!!!!

Slacker City, Population: ME

Yeah, I know. I've really been slacking on this blogging thing. I'm not making excuses, but the weather has been phenomenal this past week, therefore the pool has been calling my name. It tends to scream my name actually, so I can't really escape without making a scene. I'm not one to make a scene, so yes, I cave and go to the pool. It's a good thing I don't have much down time, right? That means I'm staying busy! Which is ultimately a good thing. Especially being so far from home.

On to the week... Dr. Steve and Twyla and Lee co-taught us this week on the subject matter of communication and conflict resolution. So if you are in need of a lesson on either of these two, holler because I have pages of notes and a week of knowledge on it! This week we read two books, one on encouragement, and one called The DNA Of Relationships. Both of which were very insightful for the class discussions.

We were created to be in relationship with others. "Communication is to relationships what blood is to the body". There are different levels of communication that increase risk and vulnerability as you move farther into them. We did a lot this past week with the listening aspect of communication, because listening is for the sake of connecting and responding. There are many responses to listening that we learned both positive and negative, and the best tool to help people know they are being listened to is paraphrasing.

There are many biblical principles of communication that we addressed as well including things such as thinking before you speak, speaking the truth in love, not criticizing, ignoring insults, speaking gently, and listening.

When it comes to conflict, it's not always about resolving them, it's about managing them. Conflict is rooted in wanting something, but not getting it. The biblical model for conflict that we talked about starts with being honest, keeping it under control, making sure that the timing is right, keeping it positive, and exercising kindness and forgiveness. The very last day of class this week, we touched briefly on forgiveness. Which I absolutely loved. I tend to be quick to forgive and move on, whereas I know this really is a struggle for others. "...Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but enlarges the future..." Luckily in the chart of forgiveness that we talked about, God's grace and healing covers the whole thing.

Overall this past week of class was great just to learn these things to make myself a better woman in Christ and possible wife and mother some day in these specific areas. I'm excited for the times in the future when I will be able to put to practice what I have learned. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement!

Adventures. No but for real!

I don't think my body can handle any more adrenaline pumping through it for a while. Between caving with my counseling internship group yesterday and jumping out of a perfectly good airplane today, I think I'm losing it out here... No but for real.

We weren't caving Mammoth Cave style ya'll. It was legit army crawl through the dirt and in square foot openings known as "the tube". At one point we all had to turn our lights off and sit there in the quiet. Now, I'm not one who is generally afraid of the dark. But when you put in me in a tiny cave and turn off all lights on me, chances are I'll get pretty uncomfortable. We learned how it is experiential therapy because it teaches you to stay in the here and now. When you're in there, you're not thinking about anything else. You can't do anything about the past or the future because you have to stay present and paying attention to what you're doing. The way that they talked us through tight spots and worked with those individuals who were borderline panicking, was extremely patient and helpful. There were a couple different approaches people took while in the cave. Some were more reserved and didn't really go off while others jumped at the chance to explore when given the option. For me, it was important to keep a light-hearted approach to the situation so that I didn't sit there and think about where I was and what I was doing. We encouraged each other through the afternoon, and came out a total mess. But it was worth it :)

Best part of yesterday? When someone was crawling through a really tight space and she emerging into a cavern. As her head is coming out, Tim goes "It's a girl!!!" We got a good laugh out of that one.

On to today's adventures... We arrived at Mile Hi Skydiving around 2:00, after doing a quick shopping trip downtown Boulder. We waited for a solid 2 hours before being brought out to the hangar. (longest two hours of my life, contemplating why I was about to jump out of a perfectly good airplane...) We met our instructors and suited up. Chris was a pretty cool guy that was my tandem buddy for this adventure. We boarded the plane and started heading up! After what seemed like a long time Chris goes "so we're about halfway up". I thought we were high enough already! Apparently the instructors didn't think so... At about 2 1/2 miles up, they flung open the side door and Chris said "Alright, you're first!" Oh $#*!. AmIright?? We waddled over to the door, gave Shayne my videographer a smile and thumbs up, then BOMBS AWAY! One whole minute of free fall! Seriously the most intense minute of my life. If you're like me, you're thinking "oh gosh my stomach would drop like on a roller coaster and I'd puke". Somehow, (I still don't understand it), my stomach didn't drop AT ALL. Weirdest. Sensation. Ever. After free falling a while, Chris pulled the parachute and we were able to enjoy the view on the way down. It was gorgeous! And a beautiful day to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Bottom line. If you've been thinking about skydiving, DO IT.
If you haven't been thinking about skydiving, DO IT ANYWAY.